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themaefive:

axonsandsynapses:

yuletidekarkat:

dannygayhealani:

creatingaquietmind:

the speech impediment of the 21st century (by Marc Johns)

I’ll fuck you up buddy this is not a speech impediment it’s linguistic evolution!! the existence of the phrase “Aisha was like” allows the speaker to convey whatever Aisha said without making the listener assume they’re quoting Aisha directly while still maintaining the FEELING of what Aisha said.

ie, Aisha said she didn’t want to go out with me VERSUS Aisha was like, “I’d rather kiss a Wookie”.

the addition of “XYZ was like” lets the speaker be more expressive and efficient and it is a totally valid method of communicating information!!

With the way language has evolved, this is one of the few ways I can even think of to express in casual conversation what someone said. 

"So I said to Aisha," is certainly used, but if you remove the "so," which implies casual tone ("and" can be used in the same way), you get

"I said to Aisha," which is really formal in most English dialects/variations. I don’t know about all, but in New England dialects, you sound like you’re reading aloud from a novel.

"I told Aisha," is really only used when you continue to describe, not tell, what you told her. Ex: "I told Aisha that James was too punk for her" works while, "I told Aisha, ‘James is too punk for you’" crosses the line back into formalness of the "I said."

Things like “I asked” or “I answered [with]” are similar levels of casual and efficient to the “So, I said [or say, as many conversations about the past take place in present tense anyway, as if the speaker is giving a play-by-play in the moment]” but are specific to only certain situations. 

"I was like, 'Marc Johns, what is your obsession with restoring archaic speech patterns and interfering with the natural progression of English from complex to efficient?'" envelopes all of these easily and is accessible and crisp, and allows for more variations on inflection than the others.

Of course, James is probably like, “I already fucking said that.” But eh, I tried adding on.

  (via crystalandrock)

This a million times

(via tonystarkr)

Source: creatingaquietmind
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fanbot1126:

psilentasincjelli:

carryon-mywayward-misha:

thosewerethe90s:

yaoibutterfly:

rah-b-loved:

inkyblacknight:

paradoxsocks:

ihavemjolnirinmypants:

withoutapresspass:

cyborglovesong:

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UNITEDSTATESCANADAMEXICOPANAMALKFHDSHFSDKJCNOIDSUHFISUFN:SD

I AM GOING TO MAKE LEARNING THIS THE OBJECT OF MY LIFE.

I always lose it at Cota Rica. 

I ALREADY KNOW THIS BY HEART

United States, Canada,
Mexico, Panama,
Haiti, Jamaica, Peru;
Republic Dominican,
Cuba, Carribean,
Greenland, El Salvador too.
Puerto Rico, Columbia,
Venezuela,
Honduras, Guyana, and still;
Guatemala, Bolivia,
then Argentina,
and Ecuador, Chile, Brazil.
Costa Rica, Belize,
Nicaragua, Bermuda,
Bahamas, Tobago, San Juan;
Paraguay, Uruguay,
Suriname, and
French Guiana, Barbados, and Guam.
Norway, and Sweden,
and Iceland, and Finland,
and Germany now one piece;
Switzerland, Austria,
Czechoslovakia,
Italy, Turkey, and Greece.
Poland, Romania,
Scotland, Albania,
Ireland, Russia, Oman;
Bulgaria, Saudi Arabia,
Hungary,
Cyprus, Iraq, and Iran.
There’s Syria, Lebanon,
Israel, Jordan,
both Yemens, Kuwait, and Bahrain,
the Netherlands, Luxembourg,
Belgium, and Portugal,
France, England, Denmark, and Spain.
India, Pakistan,
Burma, Afghanistan,
Thailand, Nepal, and Bhutan;
Kampuchea, Malaysia,
then Bangladesh, Asia,
and China, Korea, Japan.
Mongolia, Laos,
and Tibet, Indonesia,
the Philippine Islands, Taiwan;
Sri Lanka, New Guinea,
Sumatra, New Zealand,
then Borneo, and Vietnam.
Tunisia, Morocco,
Uganda, Angola,
Zimbabwe, Djibouti, Botswana;
Mozambique, Zambia,
Swaziland, Gambia,
Guinea, Algeria, Ghana.
Burundi, Lesotho,
and Malawi, Togo,
The Spanish Sahara is gone;
Niger, Nigeria,
Chad, and Liberia,
Egypt, Benin, and Gabon.
Tanzania, Somalia,
Kenya, and Mali,
Sierra Leone, and Algier;
Dahomey, Namibia,
Senegal, Libya,
Cameroon, Congo, Zaire.
Ethiopia, Guinea_
Bissau, Madagascar,
Rwanda, Mahore[?], and Cayman;
Hong Kong, Abu Dhabi,
Qatar, Yugoslavia,
Crete, Mauritania,
then Transylvania,
Monaco, Liechtenstein,
Malta, and Palestine,
Fiji, Australia, Sudan!

reblogging for the lyrics.

OwO

I lose it after Peru.  like, I can’t even follow the lyrics.  I just sit in awe of it.

This show was on in the 90s.

“Germany now in one piece.”

IT FREAKING REFERENCES THE FALLING OF THE BERLIN WALL, 1989

I took this shit as a challenge and memorized it when I was like twelve.

I used to watch animaniacs when I was a kid, and I loved this one!

(via stopholdingontoair)

Source: cyborglovesong
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elevenis-my-doctor:

whatthefuckdidyoulanadelsay:

kingofsaigone:

tinselkin:

aberrantkenosis:

in case you ever wanted to know what mambo number 5 sounds like with all the instruments (including the drums) replaced with bike horns 

it sounds like the song is going to kill you and it’s perfect

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i smiled through the whole thing because i just don’t understand what would compell someone to do this but thanks

i cannojt bretahe

(via kingshezza)

Source: aberrantkenosis
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dirtytrenchcoatsandwinchesters:

OH MY GOD SO MY MOM CAME OVER YESTERDAY AND USED MY COMPUTER AND I GOT THIS MESSAGE FROM HER TODAY AND I’M DYING
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I CAN’T BREATHE
THESE ARE MY BOOKMARKS
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THERE ARE TEARS RUNNING DOWN MY FACE
MOM I AM SO SORRY

(via jamesbarnessexual)

Source: dirtytrenchcoatsandwinchesters
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tavoriel:

"are you a robot?"

"I am an artificial intelligence program."

"cool i’m part robot."

"The technical term is cyborg, sir."

"what’s that over there?"

(via ifancythespiderchild)

Source: tavoriel
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consultingmoosecaptain:

dalekitsune:

the phrase “curiosity killed the cat” is actually not the full phrase it actually is “curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back” so don’t let anyone tell you not to be a curious little baby okay go and be interested in the world uwu

See also:

Blood is thicker than water The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.

Meaning that relationships formed by choice are stronger than those formed by birth.

(via hi)

Source: dalekitsune
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legfruit:

there’s always those neighbour countries that sort of hate each other like new zealand and australia, britain and france, the rest of the world and america

(via angryaboutart)

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ladragonaria:

Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it enough

(via dietcondoms)

Source: ladragonaria
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sitcorn:

doctors HATE her! local farmer puts one of her apples at the hospital entrance every day. the doctors can’t enter. the city is without medical care. patients are dying

(via stopholdingontoair)

Source: sitcorn
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northernlotus:

buckybatch:

imagine the avengers playing hide and seek and bucky is always a master at hiding so steve uses a metal detector to find him

"Bucky you’re in the couch."

Muffled swearing

(via turpentinehoneybee)

Source: realwintersoldier
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universeofgeek:

supernaturalapocalypse:

forgivegadreel:

supernaturalapocalypse:

LoOK hOw hAAAPpy eVerYONE iS

kaTIE WHAT THE FUCK i’M TAKING AWAY YOUR PHOTOSHOP

Im scared 

(via mrshudsoniamnotgay)

Source: supernaturalapocalypse
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deans-fucking-fallen-angel:

sassykylesimmons:

all-this-bastille:

playalchemy:

Three different versions of Pompeii. Capitol Studios, Brit Awards performance, and the original. I don’t know what happened.

This is… AMAZING

It’s like a beautiful choir of dan smiths

jesus
 christ

what

(via tonystarkr)

Source: playalchemy
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And I want these words to make things right, but it’s the wrongs that make the words come to life

(via actuallyswerve)

Source: onceupona-lyric